The Unfortunate tale of Whee

[Mr. Fangora (Wum)]

This is a story I'm writing called 'The Unfortunate Tale of Whee' Enjoy! (or not)

In the beginning there was only cheese. Nothing else. Before anything else could exist there had to be cheese. Do not argue. That’s just the way it is.

This simple fact changed the whole life of a young man named Whee. Because of his unfortunate name Whee was constantly teased by his peers and was made a mockery of by his workmates.

One day on one of Whee’s many trips to the bathroom facility, Whee noticed something out of the ordinary. Now this was suprising as you wouldn’t normally find anything out of the ordinary at an Adult’s Toy Factory. Nevertheless, Whee found this object strange.

Whee bent over to pick up the strange little thing. On closer inspection he discovered this mystery object was in fact a miniature puppy dog.

“What are you doing here boy?” Whee said in his whiny voice.
“This is no place for a dog as innocent looking as you.”

Whee picked up the dog and placed him in his pocket.

“I think I’ll name you Chocolate.” Whee said to himself as he continued to make his way to the bathroom.

From that day on, Whee and Chocolate were inseperable. Not a single second could you find one away from the other.

The friendship between Whee and Chocolate grew more and more each day until on one fateful eve, the phone rang.

“W…who is it?!” Whee nervously said.

“Give up the dog” a gruff voice answered on the other line.
“You do not know what the dog is cabable of.”

As he spoke to the man, Whee looked over at Chocolate who was licking some indescribable part of his body.

“I…I don’t know who you are but leave me and Chocolate alone!” Whee shouted angrily as he hung up. Unfortunately this act made Whee’s life very hard for himself.

The next day Whee and Chocolate were awakened by a loud knocking at the door. Whee put on his dressing gown as he groggily went to see who it was. When he looked through the peep hole all he could see was someone’s thumb. A little frightened, Whee opened the door ajar and looked at the person.

The man could only be described as big. Every part of his body looked incredibly out of proportion. He had a large nose, large eyes, large hands, large feet and so on.

“Are you named Whee?” the man boomed

“Y…yes…” Whee stuttured.
“Who are you?”

“Never mind that” the man said as he adjusted his wig.
“Just give me the dog and I’ll leave.”
Whee fearfully looked up at the man’s chins. He had a look on his face which suggested ‘There will be no questions’.

Looking back to his bedroom where Chocolate was eating some strange green substance Whee considered his options.

“Do I really want to give up my best friend?” He thought as he looked back to the man.

“No…” he whispered.

“What was that?” the man said as he leant down to look Whee in the eyes.

“I SAID NO!!” Whee screamed as he kicked the man below the belt.

Fearing for his life, Whee took this chance to grab Chocolate and escape through the back door.

As he ran he thought “This is it. There’s no turning back now.”

END CHAPTER 1

That's all for now. If this made you chuckle then it served it's purpose. If it made you want to kill me then it also served it's purpose.

[The Patryn]

What if it made us want to chuckle you?

[Rajal Tikana]

my chocolate... hehe...write more or the turtle will d**n you!

[The Patryn]

Obey the Tutle not Wum! Return unto Bob and be saved!

[Rajal Tikana]

Bob is dead! ACCEPT THAT! MWAAAAAA!

....anyways...lets not go off topic... *coughs*

Please write some more mister wummy

[Mr. Fangora (Wum)]

Chapter 2

Whee ran as fast as his legs could carry him. He did not think of where he was going or what he would do but he ran anyway.
After crossing several blocks he fell to the ground, exhausted.

"What am I going to do now?" he thought to himself.

Feeling quite distressed he looked down at Chocolate and found some consolation in the puppie's smiling face.

As he sat there thinking to himself a small car pulled up next to the sidewalk. The blackened window came down a few centimetres and a low crackly voice could be heard.

"Fear not the green ones. Their hatred has tainted and mouldified them. Trust in yourself and your doggy." the voice uttered.

Whee was speechless. Somewhere in his heart he knew he could trust what this voice said. Despite it being hard on the ears to listen to, the voice calmed him and made him feel at peace.

"Now then," the voice said. "Bring the dog to the window."

Whee could do nothing but comply. As he held Chocolate up to the car's window and bony figer emerged and proceeded to tickle Chocolate beneath the ears.

"Who's a good boy then? Yes, you're a good boy aren't you? Aren't you?" The voice said playfully. Suddenly remembering himself the owner of the voice returned to his crackly tone.

"Ahem, anyway, if you wish to find answers to your dillema you must find the old abandoned warehouse down at the pier. Once you reach there maybe you will find the truth."

The window in the car closed and the car drove away.
Whee didn't know what to think. So much had happened in one day and he couldn't work out what was going on.

"If we want to go back to the way things were" Whee said to Chocolate "I guess we'll have to find this warehouse."

Getting up from the curb, Whee put the minidog in his pocket and then jumped on the back of a passing car.
After stealing rides from many different cars he finally reached his destination. The pier.

Walking down the rickety boards Whee grew more nervous with each step. Eventually he found the warehouse that was unused so he crept up to the large wooden doors and listened for any sounds of life.
Hearing nothing Whee slowly put his shaky hand on the doorknob and opened the door, afraid of whatever may be in there...

End Chapter 2

That's all for a chapter 2. Just so you know, I barely have any plot worked out so I'll just be sitting down to type and following whatever train of thought suits me. ;D
Cheerios for now!

[Chickensoupcheese]

You've established from the beginning that the tale would be rather random, so making it up as you go along wouldn't be a problem. Having said that, I still want to know what happens to Whee and his pet!

Do you have a picture in your head of Whee? I'd like to say what he, she or it looks like to get a picture of him, her or it. There isn't any great description of him in the story so far.

Apart from that, awaiting Chapter 3!

[Mr. Fangora (Wum)]

I don't really have a particular image in mind when I think of Whee but to describe him in one word I'd say...

Confused.

If you'd like a few more words I'd say 'A scrawny, frightened, looking guy with a perplexed look constantly on his face.

What I want to get the reader to do is form their own picture of Whee and (somewhat) identify with him and the trials he is to face.
Because as we all know there's a little Whee in us all. ;D

But if you would really like a picture I'll scan up what I think he looks like.

[Laralon the Mad Looter]

I really, really want to laugh I disagree off, but I can't.

[Mr. Fangora (Wum)]

Fair enough. We can't all have detachable asses.

Chapter 3

Whee peered into the gloomy building and tried to make out the dark figure in the centre of the room.
He strained his eyes to see as the only light in the room came from the open door behind him.
"H...hello?" he quavered. "Who's t...there?"

The dark figure in the centre slowly moved towards Whee.
Chocolate made a whipering noise as the thing approached so Whee gently pushed him deeper into his pocket and stroked him softly.

"Welcome. Whee." a metallic voice said. "I have expected you here for some time."

"H...how?" Whee stuttered. "Why did you want to see me?"

"That can wait" the figure said as he raised a dark arm. Whee could now see that the person was wearing a cloak which closely resembled an image of Death.

"Come with me. We shall talk more in my office"

The person turned and glided across the room towards a door. As he moved a strange squeaking noice could be heard coming from his feet.
When the figure was halfway across the room he seemed to jerk and was momentarily off balance.

"nuts" he said quietly. "d**ned loose boards!"

When they came to the other side of the huge room the figure opened the door and motioned for Whee to enter. Whee stepped inside and surveyed his surroundings. Looking down at the floor Whee could see his face looking back at him, distorted. He looked around at the impressive white marble walls and then suddenly realised he was standing in a restroom.
The figure moved over to a urinal and a zipping noise was heard. Then the figure made a relaxed "Aaaah" sound in his grinding voice.
Turning his dark hood to face Whee he gestured for him to come and join him.
As they stood side by side the person spoke.
"No doubt you have many questions. But I am afraid I cannot answer them all. Some things are hidden even to me. I will however tell you the things you will need to know to start your journey."

"What journey?" Whee asked as he fumbled with his zipper.

"Do not trouble yourself with that yet" the person said as he zipped up his fly.
"First you will require training. Follow me."

Whee followed the figure back into the large room and then into another side room.
Whee entered the room first but when he turned around he found that the robed person was gone. Turning back he examined this new room.
This room was quite small and in the centre was a single wooden chair.
Not sure what to do Whee walked up to it and after checking it was safe, he sat down.
After spending five minutes examining the patterns on the carpet the door suddenly slammed shut and Whee heard a locking noise. Then a hand grabbed himby the neck and he felt himself being tied to the chair by a pair of very forceful hands.

"Don't worry honey." A soft melodious voice said behind him. "Your training is about to begin.

End Chapter 3

I'm quite pleased with this particular body of writing. I intend to be more descriptive because I tend to fail in that department as I write. Anyway hope you liked it!

[Chickensoupcheese]

Aberrant said:

I really, really want to laugh I disagree off, but I can't.

I think it's more "hehe.." type humour as opposed to "I am a rolling dork!mao!!!!1111111I am a dork!!!!" type humour.

Chapter 3 is a scene-setter?

EDIT: Oi, who changed the l_ol and r_ofl's? My awful joke ruined!

[Forbidden]

Hehe, censorship censorship. Gotta love it. I am a dork!

Edit: Err forget what I said!
#nosmileys